T-o why are people so cruel?

I was sitting in my room drawing when I was trying to draw a happy face.

me: “what dose a happy face look like?”



flashback

First photography tutor “you’re not one of those people are you?” in a snarly condescending tone.


T_T Why do people wonder why I don’t like being around other people?

O_O Last week a random woman called me a witch because I was watching two butterflies dance around each other.

Do I have to mention the amount of parents that point at me and say “look child, that is what a freak is.”

T-T Emotions are bad and should be regulated. one can’t control there thoughts when then they are happy /sad meaning you can’t go though the list of responses that people have forcefully taught you. I despise acting the way other people call normal, it’s physically exhausting, I constantly worry about slipping up and having to study people in order to find out what response would they find the most preferable (not to mention the many time people try and change who you are because in there heads “it will make you fit in better”).

teacher: “what do you think lea?”

me: “Do you want to hear what I’m thinking or what you want to hear?”

teacher:“what I want to hear.”

^_^ This is why I’m so happy that my friend allows me to say what ever is on my mind.

Since I turned 17 (now 23) I haven’t had to deal with people trying to change me as a person however, I did have to fight me emotions a lot harder after my nervous brake down at 16 which forced my repressed emotions to the foreground (I was crying in pain a lot before this happened). *XD I was horrible cruel to myself and staff capt telling to keep up the act.*

If anyone says “why didn’t you seek mental help”

The school said it wasn’t there problem it was the GP’s problem.

The GP said it wasn’t there problem it was the schools problem.

T-o Turns out the school had a little befit scam going around me and most likely many other students (this still happens), meaning that if I did see a mental health doctor and got a new assessment the school would loose out of money that was meant to help but never went to the students that needed it.

The students that school thought could get good grads would get laptops and smart bored while the weaker students would get one teaching assistant to share between 20 dyslexic students (that’s if the teachers even showed up).

XD You have to love how the school will not allow weaker grade students to take more then 2-3 extra classes when they get to year 9 while the high A-C students get to take 4-6 extra classes (your not allowed to have English literature and language as two separate grade if your in a low group).

T_T I hate schools.

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