Other humans fascinate me with there emotions: Why don’t they block them out? Why don’t they feel pain when it happens? o-O Don’t you want to punish yourself for feeling them?
My school years did F*** up my head in the name of complacency. 0-^ To give you an idea of how F*** my school was: They knew I was going psychotically mad yet, they refused to refer me to a psychologist because I had A fake statement that made them a lot of money (I got full funding and was never given it). They told me if I”fixed” myself other people would like me. T-T This “Fixing” involved teaching yourself that group defiance is wrong, only talk about what they like, dress to please them, you should feel sorry for the person beating you up because they have a harder life and feel the correct emotions.
I was even punished for giving off a depressing aura (How can you punish someone for being depressed?).
*XD My poor college was so confused when they were given that fake statement….along with the psychologist they paid for “some people come with 1 or 2 pages, *slams down years worth of psychological assessments* you come with a manual”*
Back to the actual story
I was on the bus home (upstairs) when a person came up yelling his head off at a lad downstairs, I didn’t think much of it and continued to look out the window.
When it came to getting off the bus a woman was annoyed with driver because he went passed the stop she wanted.
* O_0 There is a reason I avoid other humans, I have terrible communication skills.*
Me: “You didn’t press the bell too close to the sign.” *too short notice.*
The guy came out of nowhere and starts yelling at me like a mad man!
Getting a rush of adrenaline I yelled back (trying to keep him occupied until my stop).
He got too close into my face so I pushed him back (failed and bad idea).
He threatened to break my skull as he pushed me further into the back of the bus and eventually pushed me on my back into the small stairs. We reached to stop and as I walked forward he walked back still yelling as I tried to drag my limp/numb body collapsed going into spasms.
The woman stayed as he went off in a huff. The bus driver turned off the lights I pretended nothing was going on (even the passengers were dumbfounded by that assholes move).
She got me into the recovery position which allowed me to relax my body a lot faster than I could have done on my own (I can’t afford to be passed out too long in public places). When I managed to get my head focused enough I said sorry to the woman for what happened.
From what I can tell the guy was in a bad mood and just wanted to intimidate someone in order to make himself feel strong,powerful and burn off all his frustration (wrong place, wrong time). T-o I can’t be mad at the guy, circumstances had been set up in such a way that it was virtual unavoidable (I made piece with the woman so he now has now been rendered pointless).
*I know a lot of people who would like to hurt me for pleasure, adding one more really dose not bother me.*
I managed to drag myself home.