My bad week.

On Thursday my grandad died.

This week has been one of the most painful times in my life, but Tuesday had to be the worst. On that day I had to go see my grandad for the last time…he didn’t know my name, or what I looked like.

I stood there in silence until I found the courage to speak…Which he reacted to. He could’t speak that much, he seemed to slip in and out of coherent thought.

I held his hand and stroked it, I didn’t know what ells to do. When my Nan said that I had to go I let go, but he grabbed. I froze.

Even though I know that my hand was forcefully parted from his, and that I said goodbye, in my heart he is still holding my hand, and that thought makes me cry every time.

Seeing him like that hurt.

On the Wednesday I got home from work at 8:30am and allowed myself to feel what had been delayed from day-before, my skin went pure white! I have never had this happen before….so I just got on with my-day; it was kind of like being drunk, but your head still knew what was going on.

I think this reaction happened because my head equated the image of him laying there to an animated corpse. I’m happy that I got to see him, but my inner senses are confused (in short: the brain is dumb).

When he finally did go everyone felt relived, for he went peacefully in his sleep.

I’m still going to miss him.

Rest in piece grandad.


THE PROMISED NEVERLAND ending impression


Only the kid with white hair is animated in this scenes.

I finally finished this anime, and it was……meh. Every time an anime that know how to manipulate tone comes out  it ALWAYS gain some level notoriety. This doesn’t always mean it will that it will end up being a good show,  it just means it’s really good at manipulated you.

The problem with these finds of show and me is that I don’t react to emotional empathy. You might say, “Your cold hearted” I do feel, I just don’t react to other people emotions (it’s honest to god problem in my life).

Y-o circumstances can make me cry…which is why this show kind of angered me with its ending. It was too tidy and too happy!

You could have a too ending for this show:

  1. Emma stayed back to become a mother.
  2. Have Emma leave and come back 2 years later.

By having her just ‘leave’ you kind of have no conclusion to your show. Did they live? How did they find food? Won’t they be hunted down?

You could of even made Emma mother of the wild children.  There is so many possibilities!

If we are going to be grim, all of them kids life behind are going to die because you destroyed there shelter, food and the educational equipment.


Now let’s discuss the dumbest part of this ending:

  • Mother hears a song as a child
  • Mother get pregnant
  • Son hears song as a fetus
  • Meets son again
  1. How did he hear a song that she heard as a child???? The show never establish that this was a song she humbled a lot (I don’t remember her doing it).
  2. How did he know that was his mum? Or was I meant to take it like how everyone ells calls her mum.
  3. How can you say she cares about the kids and say, “I need his brain.”?

This entire saturation could have been easily solved by just say:

  1. She instinctively recognised him (mothers intuition).
  2. Have her son burn alive in front of her.

He didn’t need to be there in the end, in fact it would have been way more impact if he wasn’t there. This would have been Emma’s last shot of escaping the despair, along with giving a good reason for mother to reflect on how she feels towards the children.


The show too many points where it over explained what was going on, too the point were I felt that the show was getting a little pretentious. I think the moment the show though me out of its world was when they had a 4 year old explain to Emma what he understood about the saturation and why they needed to stay behind in order to save the group.




I really don’y understand why episode titles look so quiptic (it’s just the date).

I really don’t get why this show made such simple things so hard to understand yet,  on the other coin the would simply blow over the more complex logistics of how everything functions.

WHY MENTION GRANDMA! She isn’t relevant to the story.  You could have had assistant to mother just send a letter, when the time came this lady would walk out of the shadows and just stay, “We don’t like how your melding with a farm that creates high quality goods” Then get her to piece the flower into the woman’s stomach.

By getting someone ells to do you take away from the depravity of the situation.

I don’t think that Norman is dead, I think he will probably be used as stud (how ells are they going to make babies). That sense that was handled really well, it created tension without straight up  telling me what was going on….I just wish the rest of the show was like that.

Final thoughts: It’s not a bad show, it could do with being a little less wordy (it’s anime, not a book).

T-o How do people deal with this?

How do you deal with the pain of a family member dying?

I’ve just been randomly braking down into tears; I know what is going on and what will happen…. what is the use of crying right now? My head is so confused, I haven’t cried so randomly since I was a teen.

The thing is…..I know that in my heart of hearts…that this current stage is the easy part, it’s only going to get harder.

Think I might have to get back into anime posting just to try and take my mind off of all this madness.

How have I been?

why have I not been so active? At the moment my entire family is trying to deal the idea of my grandad dying.  I have a close family, so there are  lot of different reaction/responses to the shock of what going on.

This entire saturation has been making me think a lot about relationship I have with my dad, along with what he told me about his relationship with his dad. Happy mother’s day mum, but I find of need to show dad a little bit more appreciation at the moment (ironic).

To make him smile I did something I personally didn’t want to do, I played ‘PSVR’ for the first time. I come from a family of gamer’s, this tracks back to the days a ‘ZX spectrum’ (It was the XboxoneX of its time), when my dad had to write long strings of code in order to play games (he apparently owned both visions).


I first got to see and ‘SNES’ at my grandad’s, my first edutainment pc game along with my first time playing the ‘game boy’. I even remember the first time my grandad introduced me and my brother to the ‘Philips CDI’, “That thing Is huge!”.

From my cousin showing off his ‘DS’, playing the ‘Nintendo 64’ in my parents room (he hooked it up to a tv on the side of his bed for some reason) or even the first timer my dad got a home a PlayStation while my mum was sick (she technically owned that console).


Since are family is made up a one boy and two girls my brother would make me play two player games. My older sister does play games, she just doesn’t play them with her younger brother….she did with me though. That could be because my brother was a ‘bad gamer’, in the sense that he would get very aggressive when he lost and egotistical if he won.

This lead to my family using me as there champion during a family gaming sessions, “You must fight for a family honour.” The only problem is that because of my adrenaline issues I can only play for so long before my body gave up (it was important that I beat him the first time).

I’m a lot better at been relaxed when playing games now … but I still sometimes go a little numb when playing a heated game of ‘Splatoon’.


My dad wanted to show me a game called ‘Rush of blood’ on the psvr, he tried to show me it last time I stayed…but I turned him down.  With all with insanity going on In my family at the moment I wanted to make him smile, so when he offered this time round I said yes.

My mother didn’t want me to play it, but I insisted that I would (he picked that game without telling me at first).

I have a question for anyone who has played VR: Have you ever pressed your eyeball to the lens of the goggles? I couldn’t make out the distance.

Dad: “What do you see?”

Me: “Are old dog.”

Dad: “What?”

*Takes headset.*

Dad: “oh yeh!”

The ps4 had kicked me out into the log in menu (The TV wasn’t on).  The problem was that the two controllers weren’t sinking up with the game correctly, we eventually got it working.

So my mum,dad and db turned on the TV so they could see what I was seeing.  I got to my first killer clown and just shouted, “DIE,DIE,DIE,DIE,DIE,DIE,DIE!”

*shooting like a madman.*

My dad apparently had a huge grin on his face while my mother my mother was bemused by my reaction (I don’t know why).

DB: “She reacts this way even when not playing VR.”

*Skyrim; killing giant spider*


DB: “It’s already dead.”

Me: “JUST, MAKING, SURE!” *continues hitting it with a sword.*

It only happens on the first kill.


^-o I really enjoyed it, the fear you experience is more akin to riding a roller coaster then true disturbing terror.  Even the jump scare at the end had me laughing more then scared (guess it helped having people in the room).

*I was always aware that I was in a game.*

The other that he wanted to show me was ‘Astro Bot’; I can’t imagine how odd I must have looked while playing this game.

You take control of a little robot with the controller and a camera with your head. This means you are leaning forwards to look around walls and moving up and down to change your perspective.


Dad: “You will have to play more next time!”

It was great getting to see my dad so cheery during such hard times. If we have to use this as a form of bonding, so be it.



Game streaming….they didn’t answer my one question?

Google yesterday announced ‘Stadia’.

I have many question about this service, My biggest one being: what is running these games?

They showed and bragged about how good they are at creating HUGE games and HUGE servers, but what dose any of that mean if the game doesn’t run? google,”There are no limits.” That’s a lie.

With Microsoft my question was always,  “How are they going to distribute this?”

When it come to google my only question is, “What is this powered by?”

Do you know why a console is so big? it’s because that  box is filled with all the chips and programs required to run the machine.  Even if you want to play your ps4 on your phone you still need to have your console on.

If you don’t want the box to be with them, you need the box to be with you.  We are talking about a game console with the power to run over million players at once! its that an amazing thought,  a single computer console running one game for that many people. Even if you did have subordinate towers taking the strain you still need the master to do all the redirecting/processing.

^_O That’s the beast I want to see!

At the moment it looks like google is going to power millions of individual consoles,  which seems both insane and impractical. The amount of power reacquired to run that set up is unimaginable.

Streaming a video or even loading a page is not the same as running a game.

XD That wifi controller, it feels like a hacking disaster waiting to happen (connects to the router).   Imagine the fun you could have annoying people in public wifi spots.

Are the new Pokemon easy.

Sorry for not posting in a long (family problems). 

I want to bring this up because there seem to be some Pokemon obsessive who don’t understand why people say this.

gameexplain: “Totem Pokemon are hard, that in turn makes the game hard”

To me that’s just poor game balancing.

Sun/moon is REALLY poorly balanced game :

  1. It tells you what attack to use (even ‘let’s go’ doesn’t do this). *The game plays itself, your just pressing the confirm button each time.*
  2. States problems are rendered pointless.   You can get rid of them with refresh at the end of each fight.
  3. z crystals are cool, but overpowered (This was unfortunately an issue that was created by X/Y).


X/Y Had a different balance problem:

  1. Mega evolution  suddenly restricted what Pokemon were viably to fight with.
  2. Super training could potentially unbalance the game (It was dictated by what mini game you were good at).  *’Let’s go’ fixed this by using candy.*
  3.  It allowed you to excessively grow berries (Which rendered states problems pointless).

Unless you want to put a self imposed challenges on yourself, the modern games are really easy to brake.

I guess Sun/moon did try to tackle some of the issues in in X/Y, but by fixing them they also accentuated them.

Mega evolution = z crystals

Too many berries =  refresh 

Super training = Just tell the player what moves to use.

These 3 things need to become more restricted.

The last one could easily be solved with switch in the menu.



Girly Air Force DROPPED!


This show is boring!

This shows plot-hole is so big you drive a car though it. THERE IS NO REASON FOR THE PILOTS TO HAVE THE BODIES OF YOUNG GIRLS!

I think what made me snap was episode 3, for writing too a nose dive in this episode due to *gulp* them trying to create drama….and failing amazingly.  You can’t have people be perfectly OK with her walking around the base and even leaving into civilian location yet, get super angry when she eats food with them. You undermine the severity of the saturation along side making people just look like monsters.

Episode 2 was so slow that I fell asleep, when I woke up nothing had happened.

I can watch a bad show if the writing is insane, but I can’t watch a bad show that puts me to sleep.

My Roommate is a Cat midway impression


I like this book, it has a cat in it!

Finally got to watch more of this show….and I feel conflicted.

Positive: I love the sections where you get to see the world from the cat’s view.

Negative: I can’t believe on any conceivable level that our main male lead is a writer.

“I haven’t used names in such a long time” . . . How do you write a book where no one is identified by name? I guess you could identify them by traits.


The neko detective despised the tall human getting in his way, for his long legs couldn’t compare to the kitties pouncing prowess.


I just can’t believe that a man who has no understand of people or how interaction works could conceivably write a story. This is a guy who is so closed to the world that he doesn’t know what a pet collar is! He didn’t even know that he lives next to a dog.

The dog was there before his parents died, so there is no excuse for him not knowing that.

My only guess to his mental state is that his parents were enabling this isolated behaviour, otherwise they would have forced him outside more (this guy doesn’t even go in the garden).


Here is something that bugged me:

“What a freak, he’s reading a book in a class room” yet no one bats an eye when he brings a book with him during PE (physical education).

I’m also not a fan of the way the anime transition from the human view to the cat view (it feels like I’m having to watch the same episode twice).


The dude comes-off like he is incapable of taking care of himself, and that ignoring his mistrust of people. When was the last time he took a bath, did laundry or clean anything in the house.

Simple tasks can be made more fun with a cat in the house.


I’m very much in a love hate relationship with this anime.

The quality of Pokémon Sword/Shield

I want to talk about this from the side of someone who like games.

Do I think the graphics look good? no, it looks really bad at times.


let’s analyse this image.

The shadows seemed to have a mind of there own.


Even when the girl leaves the house (15-17sec) the shadow on the ground looks like it’s having seizure.

Capture n.PNG  Plus you have to love that poor Photoshop background during fights.

tree.PNG How could we leave out the beauty of the trees.


If it wasn’t for the detail of the charterers models, I could easily confuse this for a ps2/ xbox 360 game.

The only section that looked good was when they were doing the rotation shot.

This definitely feels like they just tweaked the 3ds engine.

I hope that a lot of these things are just stand-ins and will be fixed in the final product.

Deltarune switch, softlock!

XD It has been a long time since I have seen this happen.


What you are meant to do is walk though this door and load the next section….that not what happened to me.  For some reason my characters continued walking upwards until they went though the edge of the screen.

O_O I was just stuck staring at this cave, unable to do anything.

There is no hope.

Additional: just got an update for the game; I can now go though the door.